


you are my favourite ‘what if?’ (you are my best ‘i’ll never know’)

by CarefulZombie



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, More Specifically "If Season One Had Been The ONLY Season" AU, Post-Season/Series 01 AU, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28731264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarefulZombie/pseuds/CarefulZombie
Summary: "'You.. you don’t think she’s actually gone, right? She can’t be. Someone with kickass powers like that wouldn’t just..NOT come back, right?'Lucas wasn’t looking at him anymore.'I really don’t know, Mike.'"or; where the sacrifices are permanent, the unanswered questions remain as such, and the characters just have to deal with that.
Kudos: 6





	you are my favourite ‘what if?’ (you are my best ‘i’ll never know’)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel this warrants some explanation.
> 
> I love Stranger Things! _But_ I also feel like the show's quality dipped drastically after the first season. While not flawless, everything about season one felt like one big 80's mystery/horror movie. It had a consistent tone, an interesting story, interesting characters, it was the whole package!
> 
> Everything _after_ that though has been mostly lackluster. As in, "this only exists because it got popular, not because there was more story to tell."
> 
> So after complaining and complaining about it on my twitter for months, I decided to just write a scenario where Season One had just left off where it did with no continuation and....that was that. Nothing more, the characters just attempt to move on.
> 
> (I promise I actually do love Eleven. I just loved her more when we didn't really know anything about her. So I had to write a story where it, uh... stayed that way.)

He hadn’t really entertained the idea that it was actually going to end the way it had, truth be told.

The slow trudge out of the school and the subsequent ride home had all passed in a blur. The tears having dried up by the time he found himself laying in his bed some hours later. The screaming panic that had overwhelmed him at the sight of El disappearing with that _thing_ had transformed itself into a strange numbness. He wasn’t sure if that was better than what he’d been feeling before, but at the very least it allowed him to sleep.

The next few days weren’t much different in the haziness in which they passed. He walked around on autopilot, making brief and stilted conversation with his family in the morning long enough to eat breakfast before making a break for it to avoid the impossible to answer questions he knew were on the tip of their tongues. He could feel Nancy's eyes trail him every time he walked by, like she wanted to say something but not knowing where the hell to even start. There was a dullness to her eyes that would worry him more if he could force any hard emotions to the surface other than this constant loop of _well that sure fucking happened._

He saw his friends again. They weren’t faring much better, apparently at as much of a loss of words as everyone else who had even the slightest inkling of an idea of what had gone down the last few weeks. They sat in his basement in their own corners, fiddling with some of the pieces of his D&D set. 

Will was still in the hospital. Will was alive. He thinks to himself that the mere knowledge of that and the constant reminder of that really should be all it takes to break through this sense of nothingness that had overtaken his head. That this hadn’t been all for nothing.

It would be nice if it really were that easy.

\----

Will’s return had made the idea seem plausible, at first. 

_Maybe….maybe she’s there!_ He had suggested, hope creeping into his voice when the idea first occurred to him. 

_Where, dude?_

_The Upside Down!_ His head shot up, making eye contact with Lucas. _Maybe that’s where El is!_

_I….what do you mean?_

_What do I mean? Lucas, think about it! For all we know, she’s just stuck there. Maybe she got rid of the Demogorgon by sending it back where it came from!_

_I.. I don’t know Mike._ Lucas shifted awkwardly, glancing over at Dustin who wasn’t looking at either of them. _It didn’t really look like they really went anywhere._

Mike swallowed. _No?_

Lucas shook his head. _No, it just looked more like they… disintegrated. Didn’t look like they were like, teleporting or anything._

Mike stared at him for a moment, digesting that and turning the words over and over in his head. _You.. you don’t think she’s actually **gone** , right? She can’t be. Someone with kickass powers like that wouldn’t just..NOT come back, right?_

Lucas wasn’t looking at him anymore. Now both he and Dustin were glancing away from him, trying to avoid any eye contact. 

_I really don’t know, Mike._

\----

They didn’t see much of Will anymore. 

It was understandable at first. The guy had gone through some major shit. It made sense that he’d want to be at home with his family for a while. But aside from a few select weekend’s where he’d show up for an hour or so to hang out in the basement while his mom waited upstairs, Will mostly kept to himself. 

He didn’t completely disappear, no. He still hovered around them during school hours and sat with them at lunch, but he didn’t talk much. Sometimes not at all. His mom had started picking him up from school rather than him riding home with them on their bicycles.

Again. Understandable. It didn’t make it feel any better to watch the distance beginning to creep into Will’s presence within the group grow, though. 

Aside from that once in the hospital, they didn’t mention Eleven to him at all.

\----

The weeks had slowly grown into months. 

Mike still wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t sure if there even was anything TO do. Which felt kinda fucking shitty to admit. 

He sometimes imagined El waiting in the upside down for someone, anyone, to come and help her. For anyone to even notice she was there. And it felt like they were just sitting on their hands doing nothing. What kind of a friend was he? Why weren’t they doing anything? 

_And what, exactly, do you suggest we do? El was literally how they got into the upside down in the first place. How they got Will out. If she’s not around how the hell would we even get into that place? Build some sort of machine that opens a portal or a door to it? What kinda science bullshit smarts do you think ANY of us have where that would even be an option?_

Mike rested his head on his desk and tried to ignore the burning beneath his eyelids. Maybe he should stop bugging Lucas with all of this. He didn’t need his logic butting in on his hopes.

Whatever that even consisted of anymore.

\----

The school dance rolled around. 

He wasn’t exactly planning on going, but his mom decided otherwise.

_You need some fresh air. All you and your friends do is sit in the basement. Come on, go and stretch your legs! Dance with a girl!_

He tried to ignore that last one, but it still managed to sting anyway. Not like she even _knew_ about El, anyway. Not like anyone but a handful of people and a bunch of dead scientists knew of that strange, strange girl.

He clenched his jaw, and sat down on the bleachers. 

Dustin looked up from where he’d been sitting a few feet away. _Hey, man._

Mike nodded in acknowledgment, but remained silent.

Dustin shifted his feet, glancing between Mike and the crowd of other kids dancing and goofing off. _Your mom make you come too?_

Mike nodded again. 

Dustin continued talking, trying to fill the awkward silence. 

_I think Lucas is around somewhere. Or maybe he snuck off. Not sure. I don’t think Will showed up, though._

(Big surprise)

Mike listened idly for a few minutes, letting Dustin ramble. It helped quiet his thoughts for a moment. But not for very long. 

_Do you…_ He cut in, causing Dustin to stop talking. 

_Do you think that El might still be out there, somewhere?_

Dustin stared at him for a moment, before looking back at the crowd. He inhaled and exhaled a few times before shrugging helplessly. 

_Maybe._

Maybe. He didn’t think he could keep holding onto ‘maybes’ much longer.

\----

Hopper knew he didn’t really need to keep hanging around the Byers for much longer.

He’d already outstayed his welcome in his frequent “check-ins” at this point. It had been over a year. 

Call it paranoia, whatever. The whole Upside Down, crazy stupid science experiments ordeal would leave anyone nervous. Especially in regards to the family that had had one of the most hellish run-ins with it. 

But it wasn’t like either Joyce _or_ her boys left the house much anyway. Not exactly painting a target on themselves for any more supernatural bullshit. He didn’t stay long, anyhow. _Just checking in._

Joyce nodded at him from the kitchen, and he turned on his heel out the door. 

As he was walking towards his car, he caught a glimpse of someone standing at the end of the lawn. He tensed, momentarily, before noticing it was just some kid. He took a few steps closer before recognizing him

_Mike?_

The kid was looking at him, standing absolutely still. He gave a sharp nod, toeing at the grass with the tip of his shoe. _Uh-huh._

_You, uh.. here to see Will?_

Mike’s lips pressed tightly together as he shook his head in the negative. 

_No, I, um. Was just walking around. Didn’t feel like being home right now. And I noticed your car and just…_

He paused, his gaze going distant.

_Do you think…_ his voice had dropped to a whisper, and Hopper found himself swallowing as something like dread filled his stomach. _Do you think maybe…_ Mike paused again, breath starting to grow rougher.

_That El might still be out there somewhere?_

Hopper thought back to the woods. 

Of a box filled with untouched, frozen Eggo’s.

He took a harsh, long breath and met the kids eyes, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Mike’s eyes closed tightly, as if bracing himself.

(Just... rip the band-aid off quickly, Hopper)

_No, kid._

_I don’t think she is._

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for not mentioning Will's "puking up slugs" cliffhanger. He, uh, dealt with it offscreen. He's fine.


End file.
